in pain
im so hurt tonight... i really dont know whats with him that he walked out... eh hindi naman nya dapat kaasaran yung nangyari eh! im so pissed! hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko! at pinakita niya talagang umiinom siya! hello??!! he thinks im affected?? YUP! I AM!!! masaya siya eh!! tang ina ! akala ko wala na kaming magiging away tapos dahil lang dun ! ang arte naman!
ewan ko ba.. wala ba siyang tiwala sa kin? ganun ba kababaw yung tingin niya sa kin? shit naman!
listen MINTAS GROUP.... hindi kita kilala.. ni hindi ko nga kilala sinasabi mong naging bf mo na naging bf ko rin! as if naman na magawa kong agawin sayo si Marthy Bonsol na matanda na ! si Joy Nidua na hindi ko alam kung si Lovette ba o ako ang first gf niya. As if naman na si Jay R na taga Visayas na hindi naman marurunong mag internet ang tao dun! pero baka si Ben.... inagaw ko ba si Ben sayo? wheh! taga ibang bansa kaya last gf nun before ko! tska bat naman ako mang aagaw?? hello, gumising ka nga! oo, sige pangit na ko, pero masaya ka ba na nang gaganon ka nang tao? hindi mo ba nakikita yung ugali mong sing itim nang imburnal?
look, never akong nang hagad nang isang babae para bawiin ang isang lalake! at sa sinasabi mong cheap ako.. hello, ako unang nag sabi nun sayo kaya wag kang gaya gaya! mas cheap ka kasi yung ex bf mo na sinasabi mo, siguro ayaw na niya sayo kaya ka iniwan at nag hanap nang iba! pero pinipilit mo pa rin sarili mo!
at kung sino ka mang hinayupak na lalake ka na binigay mo ang web site ko! PUCHA, magkamatayan na, hindi ako mang aagaw nang bf!
~out!~
MY WORST DAY
ikaw na, umagang umaga bigla akong bibirahan ni ROANNE nang "oi, may alam ako sa yo.. kayo ba ni arjay?"... FUCK! hello?? ano yon, intriga o chismis? langya, gusto kong maging masaya yung araw ko tapos i we welcome pa niya yon sa kin! tapos eto namang mga tropa ko, habang tinitingnan ko yung picture naming mga tropa eh biglang tatakpan yung mukha ko sa picture tapos sasabihin:"oo nga, maganda noh!?!" shit diba? tapos bigla ko namang nakita tong si Arjay na papaakyat nang hagdan! well, hindi lang bad mood, DISASTER ang nangyari sa kin! eh kagabi lang bad trip na ko gawa ni Mark! haay.. ayoko nang alalahanin yon.. basta!
haay.. buhay nga naman!
~out~
may 15, 2004 (in my room) 06:10pm
i was calling my friends but no one's answering me.. i tried to contact Joyce but she's out of the coverage area. i also called ben to ask Joyce's number but he weren't there. i tried to contact my bestfriend Mich but no one's answering the phone, same as Gwen. My last call would be Franco..... pero ganun din! no one's answering.. im kind of worried and thinking if he already slept. haay... i wish im with him right now, taking care of him, talking with him, and the best of all--- having shallow fights with him!
i wanted to call Joyce coz she texted me that she have read my posted story in my blog(in shantei) about those creeps in Socio class. she told me some advise and that made me feel better. i havent recieved a message from her in friendster for few weeks. and so it made me surprised that she was still in touched and still wanting to know more about me. i like her though her boyfriend right now is my past. in fact, we both want to see each other and wishing that we could create a good bonding. they say that its unusual for girls who had loved same guy but its not a big deal for me if my ex's gf is making friends with me. at least, she's smart enough not to deal with those shallow thoughts! Ben's very lucky with her............ and im happy for them. (walang kaplastikan to!)
Im falling for Franco but will this be fair for me in the end if i knew that he doesnt feel anything for me? what if someday, he will realize that he's in love with me? do you think it will happen?
im brave but not strong.......................... love for me is FRANCO!!!
~out~
"I Miss You"
Hello there, the angel from my nightmare
The shadow in the background of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
Where you can always find me
We'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never ends
(I miss you I miss you)
(I miss you I miss you)
Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
And as I stared I counted
Webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
and hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight
Stop this pain tonight
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (miss you miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (miss you miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you
April 8, 2004
im here sa room .. kakadating lang nang pinsan ko, si ate angel. she's much prettier now.. hay, pero wala pa rin siyang bf. i said "congrats" nga kanina when she told me that eh.. heheheh.. pareho na kami---magulo raw yung buhay love niya eh.. mas maganda na yung ganyan na walang lalake sa tabi kasi mas maluwag ang panahon mo sa sarili mo.
haay.. sunday, pupunta na kami sa dorm ko to prepare my room for summer class.. nako! sino naman kaya ang magiging prof ko?? sana hindi na katulad ni sir de leon!! buysit talaga ang araw ko kapag nakikita ko yon! haay.. kung alam ko lang na lahat nang kasama ko eh hindi makakakuha nang slot sa REED105, sana hindi ko na lang rin kinuha.. pero hindi ko na lang dinrop kasi dagdag hirap na naman nang pagkuha nang reg form!
sana maging maayos na ang grades ko though okay naman talaga.
~out~
march 12, 2004
hay nako.. im waiting for lyka here.. sasabay kasi ako.. may car kasi sila. dapat kay Franco ako sasabay pero when i went to their classroon, wala silang klase dun.. haay.. at eto! may nakita akong hindi kanais nais sa paningin! i was going to Franco's room then i saw Jan and his other classmates sitting near JFH505.. tapos my heart pumped like hell and i was telling myself "stay calm len.. kaya mo yan..".. i didnt saw Jem with Jan but when i was near the CR, SHIT! my god.. i saw them (alex and Jem).. wow, sweet naman.. he brought her pa sa 505 building.. maybe your reacting right now .. why am i so affected with those freakin people.. well, wala na naman sa kin yung naging issue about me and the guy.. but the thing like all of her classmates were saying "ah, yun ba yon!?!" what the!?! what's their problem.. yah , i was like that before.. hear that, before?! pero i realized that i should let them do whatever they want and i will do mine. pero the heck! what does she want from me.. she already have Alex.. whats up with her! i dont want to confront her but she's forcing me !!!
abbie told me that the reason why we became cold with each other was because of that "guy".. she said that maybe i was been so negative with myself for having that big mess in my life.. heheheh.. yah, i think she's right.. kasi i was not like this before eh.. pero im not blaming that guy for leaving me.. maybe were not really for each other! the heck.. why am i thinking this way again! ---- i want to prove them that they were all wrong about me.. that i can live with out guys.. that i can improve myself with out him! ---- yah.. maybe i can.. if only i have the guts.... heheheh.. why not!?! right?! heheheh...
someday, that girl will realize that she doesn't have to get mad at me.. siguro nasa stage pa lang kami na parang hindi pa nakaka recover.. . heheheh..
guys, yeosuf will celebrate his bday at windward on saturday.. i wish i could go but i cant coz saturday is my restday..
good luck on your exams!!!!
~out~
hi... im happy coz abbie and i were okay..
we had fun kanina sa gym kasi theres this gurl na ewan ba! gf siya ni *tooot*! ano bang problem niya! we caught her looking at me huh! ano yun? inggit siya? sabi nga ni abbie:"PIGILAN NIYO KO, PIGILAN NIYO KO!". which is hindi namin pinigil ni ayie si abbie.. heheheh.. aba, i wanted her to pinch that J...M... HUH!?! halatang pinapa glance niya yung friend niya sa kin kapg hindi niya ako nakikita sa tabi ni abbie.. bakit pa?! ano yun, binabantayan ako? at eto pa, ayaw ilagay sa bulsa or sa bag ang 7650 NIYA HUH! tapos sabi ni abbie parang may tinatawagan raw.. wow, baka si "chickenpox" yon..... well, bahala na sila! nag iinit lang ang dugo ko eh!
ah.. ano guys, is my blog okay with you??!!!
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